Who I Am [Hates Who I've Been]

[Blondie]

This is for the plot with the same name. Go check it out and join. (:

Max - [Agni]
Nick - [Sadie]
James- [Agni]
Monique- [Blondie]
Peter
Angel- [Blondie]
Jeb
Ari

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[Blondie]

Angel Crowley pressed the side of her cheek to the pillowcase, her blue eyes wide and fixed on the wall next to the bed. Even though she'd pulled the blanket tight around her, she still felt the chill of the room. Her curly blonde hair lay splayed out on the pillow. It wasn't tangled, so someone must have brushed it, she assumed.

She'd been diagnosed as unstable, suffering from repetitive delusions of an altered reality. Those were only some of the things that she'd been diagnosed as; a doctor in Philadelphia had said she had a dissociative identity disorder, but others had dismissed that when she was four. She'd been labeled as a danger to herself and to society. It was quite the record for a six year old girl.

Asylums were boring.

Hearing low mumbling from the room next to her, the blonde little Angel pressed her ear to the wall. Being accustomed to these places by now, she was both glad and upset that the walls were thin. She wasn't fond of listening to screams, but at the last asylum (one in Ohio), she'd struck up a friendship with the nine year old girl on the other side of the wall. Her name had been Shelby. She'd liked ponies and was going to go back to her family soon. Angel missed her family as well, but she knew that she could never go back to them. This place wouldn't let her, because they said that her family wasn't real.

She'd been in asylums since she was three - how many countless other ones she couldn't be sure. When one wasn't working, her father moved her to a different place, with a different treatment. But if that was true, if she kept being moved, she'd be in asylums for the rest of her life- how ever long that was, how ever long it could be. Because Angel knew that her delusions were true, and Angel Crowley was not crazy.

She heard the low drone of voices through the wall, strained until they became more than a single hum and turned into seperate entities. Angel could make out two male voices, one younger and less sure.

"Peter just arrived last night. We gave him a sedative; he should be stirring around noon today." The older voice said. Angel smiled. Peter was her brother's name. When Angel was two and Peter was four, their parents had divorced. Peter had stayed with their Mom, and Angel had moved across country with their Dad. Technically, she shouldn't be able to remember her brother, but she did, she remembered everything about him, from his blue eyes, blonde hair, gassy problem... right down to his wings, the coulour of a magpie's wings.

Yes, this was what Angel's delusions had been of. THe memories of this life that she knew she had came swarming back to her, and she rotated so that she was laying on her back staring at the cieling. She loved these memories. They were her life.

It had started soon after the divorce, right when they'd moved into their new house. Angel had suddenly been startingly aware of this other life - a life that she had lived. It was strange, unable to be explained, and yet she knew it was true as sure as the fact that she had blonde hair and blue eyes.

She was sure of it.

She'd been an experiment, made in a laboratory, with lots of other kids but only five others that mattered to her. Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gasman, and herself, Angel.

They'd been created on purpose, by the sickest, most horrible scientests that anyone could possibly imagine. 98% human... and 2% bird.

They'd been experimented on, tortured, but they'd escaped with the help of one of the nice white coats, Jeb. He'd brought them to a nice house, and after awhile he'd dissapeared and they thought he'd died. He hadn't, but that was a long story.

They'd lived there on their own after that, until Angel was six. Max, Maximum, had been their leader, the Mom that Angel had never had. Fang, he'd loved her, and she'd loved him back, but they'd yet to do anything about it. And Iggy, he was blind, but he was the best cook ever. And Nudge, she never shut her mouth, but that was okay because she was the best big sister.

And Gasman.

Peter. He was her brother. One and the same.

When Angel was six, the Erasers had stolen her and she'd ended up back in the School, the laboratory, without any of her friends. She'd had to run, do mazes, and they'd scared her, wanted to hurt her, but Max, she came like Angel knew she would and rescued her, along with the rest of the Flock and some really neato hawks.

They even went to an Institute in New York, and found some papers about them, but that didn't matter to Angel so much as finding Total had. Total was a Cairn terrier, another experiment of the School, only this one hadn't been human. She'd loved Total, like any little girl would love a dog. Except, Total was different. Total could talk. In this world, though, she didn't have Total, because he only existed in the other world. The one that she knew she belonged to, the one that she knew was part of this world, not really a seperate world at all, no matter what these white coat look a likes told her.

They'd had many more adventures after that, some of them horrifying and some of them pretty cool. THey'd even been to Disney World, but that had gone to smoke when Ari, Max's half brother, had shown up.

Angel remembered the day that she'd gotten Celeste, a stuffed bear that reminded her of herself. It's pure white wings and halo made her smile. The best part was that Max hadn't even had to buy it for her, all she'd done was ask a woman in her head... and she'd bought it, just like that. That was when they found out that she could not just read minds, but also control them. When Erasers, the half wolf men of the school attacked them, it had sometimes become useful, even if it scared Max a bit. Alot of things scared Max a bit, but Max would never admit to that.

They'd even tried to save the world.

But now she was here, and they were telling her that it was all wrong, that she was delusional. But Angel Crowley knew better.

She'd woken up two days ago, and had been in confinement ever since, a typical procedure in any asylum. It sucked, but at least it gave her time to think, time to think about the Flock, and their adventures, to live in that world, if only in her head. Gently, she touched her back - the place where her wings were supposed to be. They told her she had none. She didn't, not now, but if only they could see her when she had. She'd been beautiful.

She was one of a kind. She was special. She was invincible.

She was part of the Flock.

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ooc// This isn't done, I'm going to add more to it, but I'm at school and if I didn't post it I would have lost it. I wanted to add something about her being afraid of the doctors here because they reminded her of white coats, but I'm going to wait for the next post to do that.

[Blondie]

I had a family once. I had a large family; there were seven kids and my parents, and we had a dog that had adopted us. I mean it, he just walked in the door one day and stayed. Literally. We weren't rich, we weren't even really middle class, but do you know what? It didn't matter, because we were happy.

That was when I was six. Six years with my real family. When I was six, they'd sent my away. Because of the Delusions. That's when they started, when I was six years old. Imagine me, six year old Monique Whitney, mocha skin and dark messy hair, big wide eyes and never stopping mouth talking about wings and the Flock and things like that. I never stopped talking; I think that's why it took my family so long to send me away. They thought that I was just talking, running my mouth like I always did, but this time it was more. I wasn't merely telling a story, I was telling a truth. I remember the day that they sent me away, I'd scared the youngest of my sisters by asking her if I could check and see if she had wings too. Now that I think back, it wasn't the best idea; I've learned now to keep my secrets to myself. Talking isn't always the best thing, but being in a large family caused me to have to speak up, and speak was what I had done. Never would I had thought it would land me here. Perhaps, if I had closed my mouth, held my tongue... but I was only six. How was I supposed to know?

I've learned since then. I don't run my mouth about my delusions; somehow they still know I believe in them. They know that I think they're not delusions.

Because, well, simply put, they're not. And I can't explain it, but it feels like I'm empty. Like unless I get back to that, to them, that I'll never truly live, never truly be free.

I'm only eleven, but I realize the irony of it. The fact that in my delusions, we - Max, Fang, Iggy, me, Gasman, and Angel - were locked up for many years of our lives, and now, because I insist its real, I'm locked up too.

At least its not dog cages this time. But still - I'm terrified of the doctors, terrified of the closed spaces. Don't even get me started on straight jackets, wore one the first time I went into an asylum, 'cause I was screaming my head off like a banshee. What can I say? The six year old wanted her Mommy back.

So, they sent me here. To this asylum - not to this asylum exactly, this is just the latest installment in the adventures of the magnificent Monique. I here I'm in California. Hey, maybe I'll meet someone famous. George Clooney, Robert Pattinson, Paul Bettany. You never know.

Kidding, kidding.

But hey, you never know. A girls got to dream.

Anyway, they put me here because of what I saw, what I dreamt and believed. Imagine that, putting someone away for what they believe? It's sick, it's insane, but it's what they do, and always will do, because everyone's scared of people who see it differently, of people who see the truth.

Like me, like my Flock. I know that they're out there. Have you ever felt something in your bones like that?

In these dreams, my name was Nudge. Here's the kicker - I knew that my real name was Monique. But since I was a lab experiment and never met my parents, Nudge was the name that I gave myself.

We were experiments - 98% human and 2% bird. And boy oh boy, we'd had the craziest adventures. I mean, who wouldn't if you had wings like we did.

Did. I don't have them. It's one of those things that I can't explain, another thing like just knowing that it was real. That those other kids, my family, the family I feel I know better than my six siblings at home, that they're out there.

God, I miss them. We did have some really great times. Like the time I hacked into the computer database to find out about our real parents... Max had been so proud of me, prouder than I could ever remember my actual parents being. I missed that. Missed her, missed Fang, missed Iggy too - more than he will ever know, but I don't want to get into that now because it just hurts too bad. It gives me this hollow feeling in my throat, and it aches.

Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.

And they can't force me. I'm going to be sent to group therapy tomorrow. I've been sent to those before, they're some new brand of hell. Sharing, caring, yadda yadda. Once upon a time, I used to love talking. Would have loved that.

But not anymore. Not since my trust was broken.

And the only people who could fix that would be my flock.

The hallow part in my ached, throbbed, and threatened to rip my soul in two.

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ooc// Obviously not finished yet either. But I'm working on it, which is why its posted here. Let me know if its bothering you. xD

[sadie]

Dark and and unpleasant thoughts swirled around in the young boys mind, the main one that seemed of the up most importance was to what was going on here. Not that that question would ever be resolved, because no one here seemed to notice or care, did anyone actually care? Of course, this boy would never take offense to this, he was no stranger to not receiving the answers he deserved. Who wanted to take the time to answer them?

His dark, shaggy hair fell down around his face, as he sat up against the plain white walls and the thinly tiled ceilings, his pale body almost blending in with them. The room was nothing special, a typical place he was all much too used to being thrown into. Not even the isolation bothered him, sometimes he even preferred it be this way. To him, it was better then being trapped in a room with people he didn't know and quite frankly probably would not even care about. Keeping his thoughts to himself gave him the comfort he needed from literally losing it and going crazy. He wanted to break out of here, and give these so-called scientists a piece of his mind. Whatever mind that may be.

Well, he would show them what he really thought.

They thought he was demented, unhinged, and delusional with these visions of the alternate reality he knew was his real life. Not this twisted world they said he lived in.

He knew he was not Nick Cooper.

He was Fang, plain and simple.

And there was not one person in the world that could tell him wrong, especially not these thickheaded people.

In Nicks world, was something that would seem potentially sad or heartbreaking to the normal human, but not to Nick. To him it was the way his life was just supposed to be, although he hardly ever liked this life, everything had to happen for a reason, though, right?

Nick had lived with his mother in there town of Tampa, Florida. He had always thought it was much too crowded with people and the bustling cars of the city. His mother was otherwise indifferent to this thought and loved the city.

It was her home, but not Nicks apparently.

Up until the tiny age of three, Nick lived in peace with his mother, but then, all that changed. It seemed that everything happened in a whirlwind at this time, the time he left his home. Nick was taken by social services for various reasons that were never really explained to him, and if they were he probably wouldn't remember them. Maybe it was his mothers lack of providing food and that she would come home late sometimes and he would be by himself. None of this mattered to Nick, though, as long as they stuck together. She was, after all the only blood relative he had.

Alas, though, the social services center was almost oblivious to this relationship because of what his mother had done, not based on how sweet she could be when she tried and how she tried to do everything within grasp for her son. No, none of this mattered. So from that moment on there small family was split up and Nick would never see his mother again.

And from that moment on, his nightmares would come true. And so would the alternate life he's always wanted. However, one was real and the other wasn't. So they said. Nick only knew who to actually trust and believe though, himself.

That day marked the rest of his life with so many different homes to stay in, he began losing count. Within the first few weeks, social services had taken him and put him in a new family. Nick did not like them from the get go. Of course, his new 'family' would always find him to be troublesome and very disrespectful. With his ever so quiet mouth and the fact that he never preferred to be around his family, he would become unwanted. And through years to come, he would shuffle around through many other families like this.

The last family that he had been placed into had sent him off to different mental institutions or asylums because of the 'delusions' he had of this alternate reality and other family. Whenever one place wasn't working out for him, they sent Nick off to another. And that, was how he had ended up here in this asylum that was supposedly somewhere in California.

Nick had one family that he knew he actually had a place in, the Flock. Where his visions where reality. Where he was himself and accepted, where he wasn't Nick, he was Fang.

The Flock was, literally, like no other family in the world.

The Flock had consisted of he and five others. There was Max, she was the leader and probably the best girl he would ever meet; to put it simply, Fang loved Max. Of course Max had to love him back, but Fang didn't know if she would ever admit to that, because she had other things to worry about as well, like saving the world. Then there was Iggy. Iggy was blind, but after you've been with him for years it doesn't really seem like it. Why? Because Iggy can cook better than anyone he'd ever met. Oh, and he and the Gasman make bombs like clockwork. Nudge was next, and she could get her mouth going a mile a minute and was very hung up on the not so important things in the world; like her obsession with fashion. Gazzy and Angel were last, and they were the youngest. Gazzy had gotten his name because he could incapacitate anyone, kind of self explanatory. And Angel, Angel had got the gene jackpot because she could not only read minds but control them and put her thoughts into other people's minds. So this was the Flock, and why were they so unique, you ask?

The Flock had grown up unlike other children, in a horrible science lab called the School. Worse than any place they had ever been. Here they had been created and experimented on, painful experiments that would stay with them forever. The result of these experiments had left them only 98% human and the other 2% left them avain.

They had wings. They could fly.

Together they stayed and after a few years they were rescued. By Jeb, one of the 'whitecoats' at the School. Jeb has taken them away to a safe house far away from the School. However, Jeb had turned out to be liar and a traitor after leaving them, but that story is irrelevant right now.

With his family, they had gone on many adventures together. They had been put back in the School and escaped countless time, they had brought down the global corporation of Itex, and they'd even been split up once because Max had brought Ari with them. Ari was Max's half-brother and Fang hated his guts. However, that was the past and now they were still all together.

Even though, all the asylums he had been to have been trying to talk the truth into him, that this alternate reality was all rubbish and not true. Fang would never accept that though, no matter what anyone told him.

The boy shook his head, his thoughts still swarming inside him. He shrugged to himself and pulled himself closer against the white walls, wanting to break out of here desperately. He was sick of these people, he just wanted to go his own way, and maybe find his own family.

Because no matter what anyone told him, Fang would always be right about this.

And his destiny was, and always will be, with the Flock.




ohohsee;;
The picture i just got off of photobucket, i have no copyrights. (: